is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
