Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
