we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
