forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
