dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
