I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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