good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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