I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
3 2 1 whiskey
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina is very pro this idea
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
