Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
