I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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