I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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