So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
