i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
