guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
