i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
