we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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