My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
