I think i peed on brittanys purse
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
