theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you had me at cake vodka
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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