my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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