well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
