it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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