dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
