omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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