Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
