You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
