how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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