Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
