Are we in a gay sports bar?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
