i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
