bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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