I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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