careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
