I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
