If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
