I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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