Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
