o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
