My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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