i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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