drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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