All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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