I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
