That's intense
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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