K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
