I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
