I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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