he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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