Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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