we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
